Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
