the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
