Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
