in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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