So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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