Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
