Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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