I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
