Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
