I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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