Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
