So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
