fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
