Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
