He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
