So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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