I wish I could teleport
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
