Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
