I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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