C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
