At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
