You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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