I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
