All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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