Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
