AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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