I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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