Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Text me some of your sweat
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