You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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