I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
