Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
