My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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