Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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