I am puke
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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