she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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