she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
