there was a trapeze. enough said
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
