I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
