if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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