Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
