singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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