Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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