I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
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