Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
