My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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