yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
