Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Randomize
