The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
