how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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