In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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